


Idiot Twins

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Exposition? Dont know her, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, and, fast burn, will roland jared, will roland jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16340612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Parent Trap AU!! Jared Heere and Jeremy Kleinman had never met until they both got shipped off to the same summer camp. Unfortunately, they decide to switch places and see what it's like in each others shoes. Neither of them counted on falling for their brothers best friend.





	Idiot Twins

Every single aspect of summer camp made Jeremy Kleinman dread it every year. The outdoors had too many bugs, sharing a cabin with strangers was too awkward, swimming made him anxious, the communal showers were disgusting, and the way the counselors tried to force a Jewish lesson onto every spider bite or splinter was just cringe worthy. The worst of it was that hours away back home was the one person who could actually make a camp like that bearable, living it up as a summertime apprentice park ranger at Ellison. Jeremy’s best friend Evan Hansen had taken the job last minute, leaving Jeremy to room with complete strangers. He hated it, and he had only been there ten minutes. He hadn’t even bothered unpacking his bag, sitting on the bottom bed of an empty bunk to sulk. 

Jared Heere had never been one for the outdoors. Him and his best friend, Michael, generally prefered to stay inside and play video games for hours on end. Unfortunately, Jared’s father didn’t seem to think that that was particularly healthy, and had signed him up for some dumb summer camp away from home. He sighed as he approached one of the only bunk beds still partially unoccupied. “Yo, hey, mind if I take the other bunk, or is it saved for someone?”

Jeremy didn’t bother looking up. “Oh, uh, no, you can have it.” He wasn’t paying much attention. Half of him just wanted Evan to show up and say ‘surprise’ so they could at least spend hell together. 

“Rad, thanks.” Jared tossed his bag up onto the sheetless mattress. “I’m Jared.”

“Jeremy.” He sighed. He hoped this guy wasn’t the talkative type. 

Jared nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, you too.” Jeremy picked at his fingernails. 

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “You really don’t wanna be here, huh?”

“Oh, you can tell already?” Jeremy’s voice was flat. 

“Look, buddy, I don’t wanna be here either but you could at least look at me, you know.”

“Sorry, I just would really rather be back at home right now.” Jeremy looked up. 

Jared went to reply but froze as he met the other boy’s eyes. “Woah.”

Jeremy blinked. “Hey, you look familiar.”

“You look like me!”

“Uh, no, you’re wearing glasses,” Jeremy said. “And eh, you’re chubbier than me.”

“Wow, okay, first of all, rude.”

“Sorry, I’m upset.”

“Why the fuck do you have my face?!”

“Wait, take your glasses off for a second?”

Jared did.

Jeremy tsked. “Who _are_ you?”

“Who are _you_?!” Jared put his glasses back on.

“Jeremy Kleinman! But I asked you first!” Jeremy’s voice cracked. 

“Jared Heere! What the fuck?!”

“Jeez, sorry you’re stuck with my face, at least your glasses cover it up a little.”

“Yo, what the fuck is happening? Like, for real.”

Jeremy rubbed his eyes. “Are you a clone?” He gasped. “Am I a clone?!” If Evan were here, he’d be the voice of reason, right? Well, maybe not. Neither of them was very good under pressure. 

“Is cloning a thing?!”

“They cloned a sheep didn’t they?!”

“A sheep is different than a people!”

“I wouldn’t call myself the peak of humanity,” Jeremy mumbled. 

“This is literally crazy.”

Jeremy scooted over so Jared could sit down. “My mom says I’m one of a kind.”

Jared did, albeit a bit hesitant. “My dad just likes to pretend we’re in the army.”

“What about your mom?”

“Never met her. Your dad?”

“Never met him either. This is weird. Where were you born?”

“New Jersey?”

“No way, I’m from Jersey!”

Jared hesitated. “When’s your birthday?”

“October eleventh?”

“Oh my god.” 

Jeremy blinked. “What, you too?!”

“I think we might be brothers.” 

“What? I’m an only child!” 

“So am I, or at least I thought so! But what other plausible explanation is there?!”

“Uh...I’m hallucinating out of pure dread?” Jeremy offered. 

Jared gave him a weird look. “Do you do that?”

“Do I?!”

“I’m real!”

“I’m real too!”

“Jesus christ.”

“Oh, I’m jewish,” Jeremy said. 

“Yeah, me too, Dumbass. This is a Jewish summer camp.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’m a grade A idiot, okay?!”

“Yeah, I’m figuring that out.”

Jeremy sighed. “I’m just kinda on my last nerve, sorry. We should really figure out what’s going on.”

Jared sighed back. “Yeah. Sorry for being rude.”

“I deserved it. Should we call our parents or something?”

Jared grimaced. “I mean, we should, but also if they didn’t tell us before they probably didn’t want us to know.”

“What, so we just stay quiet? But how will we know for sure?”

Jared bit his lip. “Have you ever seen that movie ‘Parent Trap’?”

Jeremy blinked. “What, like Mouse Trap?”

“What the fuck, you uncultured bitch.”

“Wow, thanks. How nice of you. I don’t think I want to watch it now.”

“Sorry. It’s a classic! It’s about, like, this exact situation! These two girls meet at a camp and find out they’re twins so they teach each other how to act like them and then they switch places and go home with the other parent.”

“What?!” Jeremy scoffed. “You want to– Just leave our lives behind to live a lie?”

“Well no, obviously not. We’re fuckin’ old, we can just drive and meet somewhere and switch back when we wanna go home.”

“I can’t drive.”

“Jesus. You’re a highschool senior.”

“I get nervous! My friend can’t either! We take the bus!”

“Look, it’s whatever! I mean, we eventually have to bring this up with our parents, but why not have some fun with it first?”

“A-Are we sure we’re twin brothers?”

“No, but we’re 90%.”

“That seems low to be doing something like this.”

Jared shook his head. “Look, we have the whole camp to get to know each other. It’s fine.”

“I honestly just need something to get my mind off being here,” Jeremy said. 

Jared nodded, sticking his hand out. “We’ll see how it goes?”

Jeremy took it. “Guess we will.”

\---------------------------

And that was how, three weeks later, Jared found himself dressed in clothes slightly too small for him as he put in his contacts. “You’re a skinny bitch, you know that?”

Jeremy fidgeted in Jared’s clothes. “Yeah, and your style might be worse than mine.”

“Neither of us are great. You remember all the important stuff?”

“What, like your friends and shit?”

“Yeah. Don’t fuck up my only decent relationships, please. Even if they are just platonic.”

“Hey, I managed to keep a friend! I can keep yours too! Ye of little faith.” Jeremy tried fixing his hair. “Don’t raise your voice around Evan.”

“Right. Tell me my friends names and give a description so I know you know who’s who.”

“Uh. Michael wears glasses?”

Jared shot him a look. “Is that all you remember?”

“No! I wanted to make sure that one was right!”

“Yes, Michael wears glasses.”

“Thanks!” Jeremy thought a moment. “Uh, Christine is short, right? You showed me a picture of her. Was she the cute one?”

“I mean, I guess. If you’re into girls, sure.” Jared shrugged. 

“That reminds me, you have to act bisexual.”

Jared scrunched his nose up.

“Look, just mention a girl every once in a while. Evan’s bi too, he usually just laughs along.”

Jared hummed. “Well you have to act gay. Michael’s, like, even gayer than me. So.”

“Gayer than you? Damn. I forgot your other friends by the way.”

“Jesus. Just look at the pictures on my phone. I labelled them for you.” Jared sighed. “Well. I guess this is it, huh?”

“For, uh, how long exactly?” Jeremy asked nervously. 

“Just a little while. We can switch back after a few weeks.”

“You think this’ll be fun? Because I’m terrified.”

Jared dropped a hand onto Jeremy’s shoulder, giving him a smile. “It’ll be fine. Just stick with Michael, okay? You'll get along with him. He’s a really good friend.”

Jeremy nodded. “R-Right. So’s Evan. He’s all you really have to worry about.”

Jared smiled. “This’ll be fun,” He assured. 

Jeremy bit his lip. “Keep in touch?”

Jared nodded. “You have my phone and I have yours. We can text whenever, so if you have any questions just ask, yeah?”

“Right, yeah. Um...bye?” 

Jared snorted, hugging Jeremy. “Bye, Dude.”

Jeremy hugged him awkwardly. “Don’t get arrested please.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good enough.”

\----------------------------------------

Jared curiously stepped into Jeremy’s bedroom, dropping his bag by the door. 

Immediately, his phone rang. 

He jolted, pulling it out and answering it. “Hello?”

“Jeremy, are you home yet? I’m on the bus, I kinda left a little early.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I just got home.”

“Oh! Great, I won’t have to wait outside again.”

“Right, yeah,” Jared laughed a bit. “How far away are you?”

“Five minutes? Is your front door unlocked?”

“Uh, It should be.”

“Great! I’ll be there soon. Tell me about your camp days when I get there!”

“Right yeah, of course!”

“Perfect, see you!” The line went dead. 

Jared is a shitty actor.

Before long there was a hesitant knock on the bedroom door. “Are you decent?”

“Yeah!” Jared was sitting on the bed awkwardly.

A blond boy popped his head through. “Hi!”

Jared perked up, eyes locking on the boy. “O-Oh, hi!” Oh no, he was hot.

Evan shimmied inside, taking a seat right by Jared. “How was it? Anyone die?”

Jared tried hard not to blush. “Oh, well, you know. It was camp.” He shrugged. “Saw some cute, uh, girls.”

“Really? Did any actually talk to you?”

“Well, I mean, no. But I got close!”

“Aw, good for you. Did you make any replacement friends?” Evan picked at his arm, which was covered by a long sleeve. 

Jared laughed. “At Jew camp? No way.” He bumped Evan’s shoulder lightly.

Evan winced, but hid it. “Good, because I didn’t either. Ranger Gus is a jerk.” 

Jared hummed. “Anyone called ‘Ranger Gus’ would be.” 

Evan laughed. “It’s kinda my fault. I wanted to hike and he wanted me to do work.”

“Eh, fuck Ranger Gus. You deserve all the hikes.”

Evan smiled. “Thanks Jer. Did anything exciting happen at camp at all?”

“Not really. Missed you, though. How was the apprenticeship?” 

“It was, uh, fine.” Evan’s smile faltered. “Kind of a tree expert now.”

Jared’s smile widened. “Yeah?” That was cute. “Tell me some tree things. Your favorite tree facts.”

Evan made a face. “Really? But I wanna hear about camp! I’m sorry I couldn’t go. But you know my mom. Apprenticeship looks better on applications.”

“Camp was boring!”

“You think trees are boring too!”

“You like trees! So tell me about them.”

“They’re green. Tell me about camp.”

“Forced me to play volleyball. Your turn.”

“They’re made of wood. Your turn.”

“Said lots of Jewish things. Your turn.”

“They have leaves. Sometimes. Your turn.” 

“I’m out. That’s all there was.”

“That’s all I know about trees.”

“Hm, I feel like that’s not true.” Jared hummed. “Why are you wearing a jacket, anyway? It’s hot in here.”

“It’s cold on the bus,” Evan muttered. 

“Take it off, man, get comfy.”

Evan shifted. “I am comfy.”

Jared’s eyebrows furrowed a bit. “Are you okay?”

Evan nodded. “Of course!”

“You don’t seem very okay. Did something happen?”

Evan was weak. “I-I was gonna tell you, I swear.”

Jared frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Evan gulped and shucked off his jacket. “I bro– I broke my arm.”

Jared jolted, eyes wide. “Holy shit, dude, are you okay? What happened?”

“I-I’m fine! I fell out of a tree, it’s no big deal! I didn’t wanna ruin your summer by calling you.”

“Jesus.” Jared reached out, but hesitated. “Can I hug?”

Evan searched Jared’s eyes. “I-If you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” Jared pulled him close, hugging him tight.

Evan kept his casted arm away, but used his other to hug Jared. “You’re really the best, Jeremy. I thought you’d totally freak out.”

Jared grimaced internally. Real Jeremy probably would have freaked out. Jared just held him close. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would do if something worse had happened.”

That seemed to surprise Evan. “You don’t?”

“No way! You’re, like, super important to me, dude.”

“Huh,” Evan said under his breath. Eventually he pulled away from him. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Jared gave him a soft smile. “Yeah. Me too.”

“How much did you eat at camp by the way? You’re squishy.”

Jared blushed, pouting. “Ok, look, I stress eat sometimes.”

“Since when?” Evan looked puzzled. “Don’t you stress starve?”

Jared grimaced. Oh course that’s what Jeremy did. “I’ve recently discovered the joys of drowning sorrow in greasy foods.”

Evan hummed. “A lot of them, huh? That’s okay, now I can use you as my pillow instead.”

Jared hummed. “Fine by me.”

“Don’t just sit there, assume pillow position!”

Jared laughed, laying back and holding his arms open. “Cuddletown is open for business.”

Evan leaned up and melted back into Jared’s arms. “Thank god. The renovations took forever but they were worth it.”

Jared chuckled, running his fingers through Evan’s hair like he would with Michael when he was feeling down.

Evan hummed. “‘M sorry I didn’t tell you I broke my arm.”

“It’s okay. Sorry I wasn’t there for you when it happened.”

Evan hesitated. “I-It’s actually kinda funny. I was on the ground for a good ten minutes thinking you’d actually s-show up.”

Jared’s chest twisted. “Evan, I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there.” He hugged Evan close.

“No, it’s fine, Jerm. I’m okay. Mom was pissed, but you probably would have been just as angry.”

“Why would I have been angry? I would’ve been terrified, Ev.”

“Yeah, exactly. You’d be mad I got you so scared. Like at the water park that one time.”

Jared grimaced. “I wouldn’t have been mad. I promise.”

Evan scoffed. “Yeah right, Mr. Silent Treatment.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just cuddle for a bit.”

Evan scooted into him. “Fine with me.”

\-------------

Michael had intended to surprise Jared as he arrived home, but had ended up falling asleep in his bed.

Jeremy kept fidgeting with the collar of Jared’s shirt as he lugged a suitcase into the room with a J on the door. He hadn’t expected a boy in the bed however. He approached with caution. “Uh, Michael?”

Michael jolted. “Wh- I wasn’t asleep!”

Jeremy jumped backwards. “I think you were?”

“N- Welcome home!”

“Uh, thanks,” Jeremy said. 

Michael sat up. “How was camp?”

“Stupid, how was summer?”

“Lame. Meet anyone?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Nah, Jewish kids are mean.”

Michael snorted. “Yeah.”

“It’s hard being this gay at Jew camp.”

Michael laughed properly. “Yeah. I imagine so. You just gonna stand there or are you gonna hug me?”

“Oh!” Jeremy dropped the suitcase and hugged Michael tightly. 

Michael chuckled, hugging him back just as tight. “Missed you, J man.”

Jeremy smiled at Michael’s nickname for Jared. “You too, Mike.”

Michael hummed. “Dude, did they, like, starve you for jesus or something? You’re super skinny.”

“Jews don’t do the Jesus thing, Mike.”

“Oh yeah. Still.”

“I was just stressed. I stress starve.”

Michael scoffed. “You stress eat.”

Jeremy froze. Dammit. “R-Right, usually, yeah, but this time was extra stressful.”

Michael hummed. “Well, you look good, anyway. But be careful, okay? Don’t want you getting sick on anything.”

Jeremy smiled. “I won’t. So how was sleeping in my bed?”

“Pretty god damn comfy, I must admit. No wonder you sleep so much.”

“Gotta charge the batteries, you know how it is.” Jeremy had no clue what he was saying.

Michael snorted. “Dork.”

Jeremy shrugged. “What’d I miss while I was gone?”

Michael hummed. “Eh, not much. Me and Rich went through your browser history, I think Jake ate a pinecone on a dare, the usual.”

“Why would he– Wait, you looked at my browser history?” Jeremy blinked. Did Jared have anything weird in his history?

Michael laughed. “Yeah. That was fun.”

“How did you– Why?!”

“You weren’t here to stop us.”

“What the fuck?!”

“Relax! You have pretty good taste in porn. Terrible taste in meme sources.”

Jeremy grimaced. This was not what he wanted to know about his brother. “Maybe don’t do that again?”

Michael faltered slightly. “Are you actually upset? If you are, I’m sorry, I was just teasing. You seem upset.”

Shit. He wasn’t acting very much like Jared, was he? “What? No, not really. Just tired.”

Michael frowned. “I won’t do it again. Do you wanna take a nap?”

“A nap?” That sounded pretty good.

Michael smiled. “Cuddle central is here and now, baby!” Michael hopped back in bed and patted the space next to him.

Jeremy hopped up onto the bed with a smile. 

“Dibs on big spoon!” Michael pulled him close. “So, what poppin’? It’s been, like, ten years since I saw you.”

Jeremy found himself relaxing rather easily in Michael’s arms. “Oh, you know, porn apparently.”

Michael laughed. “Even at god camp?”

“Look, I have a schedule.” That was true. Jeremy was strict with his porn needs.

“You were in bunk beds with other people and you still whacked it? Bold.”

“I’m a bold man.”

“So it seems.”

“The exercise got me skinny I guess.” Jeremy had ruined it. 

Michael practically cackled. “You dumb horny bitch.” He pulled the blankets over them. “Chris wants to throw a welcome home party, by the way.”

Jeremy blinked. He didn’t remember a Chris from Jared’s lessons. “Uh, cool, when?”

Michael shrugged. “She doesn’t know you’re back yet, so you have at least a day before the ambush.”

That sounded a little terrifying. “Right, well, uh, don’t tell her I’m back.”

Michael laughed. “I know. Just go to sleep, we can worry about that shit later.”

Something about Michael made Jeremy feel safe to fall asleep with. “Yeah, alright. You’re right.”

Michael smiled. “When aren’t I?”

Jeremy just scoffed. “Naptime.”

Michael hummed in agreement, hugging Jeremy to his chest.

——————-

Even though it had only been a bit over three weeks, Jared found himself more than understanding Jeremy’s affection for Evan. He missed Michael, obviously, but Jeremy was giving him constant updates so he knew Michael was doing well. Jared found himself trying to initiate more and more contact with Evan each day. Which is exactly how he ended up huddled in Evan’s bed as he watched him type some essay for some contest.

Evan tapped lightly on the keyboard of his laptop, determined to reach a certain word count so he could take a break. He probably needed one; his arm was starting to ache awfully. He looked up at Jared and smiled. “Comfortable, Jer?”

“Mhm,” Jared hummed, smiling back. “It’d be more comfortable with you in my arms, though.” He winked playfully.

Evan’s cheeks burned a pink hue. “I guess I could take a break early, huh?” 

Jared beamed. “Hell yeah.”

Evan closed his laptop and stood up. “Prepare yourself,” he said lightly. 

“Oh, trust me, I am.”

Evan smiled and collapsed onto his bed. 

Jared instantly rolled over and attached himself to Evan’s side. “Number one best cuddles award goes to Evan Hansen.”

Evan laughed. “Nah, I think it should be awarded to Jeremy Kleinman.”

Jared decided to be bold, kissing Evan’s cheek. “Sorry, the trophy’s already engraved with your name.”

Evan was more than flustered, redder than before. “W-Well, I– Get a new one!”

Jared just chuckled.

“You deserve it!” Evan continued. “You’re cuter anyway,” he said quieter. 

Jared blushed lightly, grinning. “Cuter than you? Impossible.”

Evan looked away. “S-Stop,” he whispered, but he was smiling to himself. 

“Maybe I don’t wanna,” Jared hummed. “I like seeing you blush like this. It’s adorable.”

Evan’s cheeks were impossibly red. “I-Is it hot in here..?”

Jared grinned. “A little.”

Something in Evan felt bold. “I-I think it’s just you, actually.”

Jared blushed. “Oh yeah? You’re one to talk.”

Evan let out a laugh. “Jeremy…”

Jared laughed as well, kissing Evan’s forehead.

Evan smiled at him, but it faltered. “C-Can I tell you something?”

Jared blinked a bit. “Yeah, of course.”

Evan shifted. “It’s k-kinda serious.”

Jared gulped. He always felt shitty having these kinds of talks. He was an imposter, tricking Evan into trusting him. “Go on?”

“I-I just– Please don’t tell anyone else, okay? I really don’t want strangers to know.”

Jared was such an asshole. Evan was going to hate him if he found out. _When_ he found out. “Okay. My lips are sealed.”

Evan took a deep breath. It was obvious what he was trying to say was difficult. “I-I didn’t exactly, um, fall. Out of the tree, when I– When I broke my arm.”

Jared’s breath caught slightly. “You didn’t?”

Evan gulped. “I-I’m sorry, Jeremy,” he whispered. He was trying to build the courage to say it. 

Jared hugged him tightly. “Oh, Evan. Are you okay?” 

Evan coughed. “I-I don’t know.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry h- I wasn’t there. Fuck, Ev.”

Evan shook his head. “J-Jerm, no, it’s not your fault.”

Jared was quiet for a second. “Can I ask why?”

Evan took a while to answer. “I-I don’t– It’s complicated, I– I just felt like– Like you were the only one who’d miss me? B-But it wouldn’t last long, you’d get over it. You’d forget about me. You’d–” Evan’s breathing was fast and shallow. 

Even if he hadn’t known him for very long, Evan’s words made Jared’s insides twist. “Evan,” He murmured softly. “Can you please breathe for me? Slow, deep breaths, okay?” He rubbed his back soothingly. “Ev, I know for a fact that if anything ever happened to you, there's no way I would ever be able to forget about you.”

Evan was crying. “J-Jeremy, I’m really not that memorable.”

Jared shook his head. “It doesn’t matter if you’re memorable. You practically mean the world to me, Evan. Losing you would be like- like losing an arm. Sure, you could learn to adapt and cope, but you never _really_ recover.”

Evan wasn’t quite getting it. “I don’t matter, Jer. Y-You need your arms, but you don’t need someone like– Someone like me.”

“Of course I need you, Evan. I’ll always need you.”

Evan sniffled, silent for a good amount of time. He wiped his eyes and sighed. “I love you, Jeremy.”

“I love you too, Evan.” Jared felt unimaginably shitty.

Evan buried his face in Jared’s chest. “I-I just wanna sleep a while.”

“Sleepy time it is, then.” Jared held him close. 

Evan squeezed his eyes shut. 

Jared needed to call Jeremy soon. He closed his eyes as well.

\------------

Jeremy pouted as he lost another round of Mario Kart. “God damn shells.”

Michael laughed. “You’re doing extra shit today. Especially bad.”

“Look, I’m doing my best!”

Michael giggled. “I know.” 

“If this was a real race at least I’d have a nice view.”

“Oh? What view?”

“Your ass.”

Michael blinked, then laughed. “Damn, J man, since when are you so smooth?”

“Oh, I shaved yesterday,” Jeremy said. 

Michael reached over, running his fingers over Jeremy’s cheek with a smirk.

Jeremy blushed a bit, but kept up his confidence. “Like it? All for you.”

Michael’s cheeks tinged pink. “Maybe I do.” He smiled.

Jeremy hummed. “I thought you would.”

Michael smirked suddenly, fingers trailing down Jeremy’s jaw to his chin. He pressed his thumb against his bottom lip. “You’re pretty, but you’d look even prettier with those lips around a cock.” Michael winked.

Jeremy was instantly red. He squeaked. He couldn’t lie to himself; Michael was hot. He really liked Michael. Like a lot. Like _like_ like. And even if Michael thought he was Jared– Well, he was still coming onto him. “Y-Yours?”

Michael hummed. “Perhaps.” He pressed his thumb down a bit.

Jeremy had no clue what he was doing when he parted his lips and took Michael’s thumb into his mouth with an awkward wink. 

Michael’s breath hitched as he bit back a squeak. He pressed his thumb against Jeremy’s tongue.

Jeremy maintained eye contact with Michael as he closed his lips around his thumb. 

Michael gulped, eyes glued to Jeremy’s mouth.

Jeremy’s only natural reaction at this point was to start sucking.  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Michael shuddered a bit. He pulled his finger away, face burning. “Interesting.” He breathed. 

Jeremy wiped his mouth. “Wha?”

Michael bit his lip, eyeing his damp thumb. He pressed it into his own mouth, looking up to meet Jeremy’s eyes.

There wasn’t a part of Jeremy’s face that was still pale. He was redder than before, blinking rapidly. “M-Michael?”

Michael jolted, seeming to come back to his senses. “Holy shit, dude, I- I gotta go. Late for dinner. I’ll text you.” He stood, turning on his heel and hurrying away.

“Wh– Michae–” It was too late. Jeremy blinked, sitting up and wondering what he’d done wrong. He would really have to tell Jared about this soon.

\-------------- 

Jared called him that night. 

“I can’t do this.”

Jeremy agreed. “Dude, me neither. I can’t be you anymore.”

Jared let out a strained noise. “I like him. This is so bad.”

“I’m totally in l– Wait, what? You like Evan?”

“Yeah! I’m in hell. He’s gonna hate me. Fuck, _I_ hate me.”

Jeremy made a weird sound. “No! Dude, I was gonna tell you! I’m totally in love with Michael! He kept coming onto me! You should have seen it! He had my spit in his mouth!”

“He what?! What does that even mean? Did you make out with him as me?!”

“No, I sucked his finger. But he said I’d look hot sucking a dick! Do you think he likes me?!”

“Oh, Jesus, you horny fuck, you’ve only known him for three weeks! You hurt him and I’ll destroy you, I don’t care if you’re my brother.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him! I just– Fuck, telling him the truth _would_ hurt him. What do we do?! How is Evan? Please tell me he’s doing okay.”

Jared grimaced. “About that…” 

Jeremy paused. “What, did you suck his dick or something?”

“No, um. See, when I first got here, he had a broken arm? I didn’t tell you because you would’ve flown off the handle but he said it was from falling out of a tree. Which was fine, except now he’s told me.. well…”

Jeremy gasped. “He broke his arm?! And you didn’t fuckin’ tell me?! Dude! He– What? He doesn’t just fall out of trees, never.”

Jared sighed. “Yeah. Apparently not.”

“What are you saying?”

“I think you already know. I can’t keep pretending I’m you. We have to do something.”

Jeremy took a deep breath. “I-I need to be with Evan. We need to switch back. Can you drive up here?”

Jared hesitated. “I don’t want- I need-” He sighed. “We need to tell them both. We can’t just switch back and pretend like nothing happened.”

“I know,” Jeremy said. “Uh, bring Evan with you. We can tell them at the same time?”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. We’re also gonna have to confront our parents at some point.”

“Yeah, your dad’s kinda an idiot.”

Jared snorted. “Yeah.”

“So we drop the bomb, what, tomorrow? When can you be here?”

“Tomorrow is fine. I’ll probably make it around noon. Where at? My house?”

“What? No, my– Oh. Right. Yeah, your house.”

Jared let out a breath. “It’s gonna suck. They’re gonna be mad, huh?”

“Evan doesn’t usually get angry. Just that sort of disappointed that lets you know you really fucked up.”

“God.”

“Yeah, I’ll never hear the end of it. This was a bad idea. Just– Just be here. I’ll have Michael over. If he’ll even talk to me. He left kinda fast.”

Jared grunted. “He probably had a boner or something.”

“I sure did.”

“Gross.”

“Shut up, Michael and Rich went through your history and found porn.”

“Oh, was it at least the good porn?”

Jeremy sighed. “You’re the one who watched it, Jared.”

Jared grinned to himself. “It was probably the good porn.”

“I’m gonna hang up now.”

“Don’t nut on my sheets!”

“Don’t nut on mine!”

Jared hung up.

Jeremy groaned and threw the phone onto the bed. 

\-------------------

“Evan, please, we aren’t gonna die.”

Evan shook his head. “Look, I-I don’t know if this is a joke or something, but j-just because I have a death wish doesn’t mean I want to endanger other people too!”

Jared pouted. “I’m not going the endanger anyone! I can drive fine! My mom has been teaching me! I promise, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“What if there’s a traffic stop?! You don’t have an ID!”

“There won’t be! Look, Ev, do you trust me?”

“I would if you had a driver’s license!”

“Evan, please get in? It’s important. I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear.”

“Where are you even going?!”

“Somewhere important. Please.”

“...Y-You’re not doing one of those involuntary check-ins, are you? Wh-Where they force me to go to a mental facility? Jer, that’s a new low.”

“Ev, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

Evan messed with his cast. “Wouldn’t you?”

“I would never.”

“Fine. Why can’t you tell me?”

“It’s a secret. I’ll tell you when we get there. We can stop for food on the way, if you want?”

“...Food?”

Jared smiled. “As much as you want.”

“You’re buying?”

“Totally!”

“If we get pulled over, I don’t know you that well, got it?”

“Deal.”

Evan sighed. “I’m gonna regret this.”

\-------------------

Michael hummed as he lounged on Jeremy’s bed. “Any reason in particular that you woke me up in the middle of my nap and called me over so urgently?”

Jeremy sighed. “Yes, I told you it was important. They should be here soon.”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

“You’ll _see_.”

Michael pouted. “Damn.”  
theyre outside  
Jeremy heard knocking. “Guess you’ll see now. Stay here. I’ll be back.” He made his way out through to the front door. 

Michael tsked, laying back.

At the door Jared shifted his weight from foot to foot.

Jeremy took a deep breath and opened the door. “H–”

“Holy shit!” Evan was already freaking out. “What the hell?!”

Jared shushed him, pulling him inside. “Is he here too?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah–”

“Why is there two of you?!” Evan was still going on about it. “Jeremy, what the hell is going on?!”

Jeremy sighed. “Come on.” He felt weird leading Jared to his own bedroom, but went ahead anyway. 

Jared just pulled Evan up the stairs.

Michael hummed as he heard the door open. “He- Holy- What the fuck?”

Evan stuck close to Jared, his eyes wide. 

Jeremy shut the bedroom door. “So.”

Jared sighed. “I guess it’s time, huh?”

Jeremy nodded. “Guess so.” He went over and tried to pry Evan off of Jared. 

Evan wasn’t having it. “Hey, get off!” He clung tighter to Jared’s arm. “I don’t know you!”

Jeremy groaned. “Yes you do! Look, we– There’s been a– We fucked up.”

Jared put a hand on Evan’s arm. “It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but, you do know him.” Jared looked over at Michael, smiling tiredly. “Hey, Mike.”

Michael gaped. “..Jared? What’s going on?”

Jeremy let go of Evan when it seemed impossible to convince him it was okay. “Well. We’re twins. First of all. Jot that down.”

Jared nodded. He turned to Evan, eyes sad. Best to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with. “I’m so sorry, Evan. I’m not Jeremy.”

Evan slowly retracted his arms in betrayal. “Wh-What? But– What?”

Jeremy couldn’t hold back. He was hugging Evan in an instant. “I missed you, Ev.”

Evan was stiff. “Huh?” He looked at Jared and then even at Michael, but couldn’t quite find answers. 

Michael seemed lost. “Jared?” 

Jared turned to him, pulling him into a hug as well. “Hey, Mikey.”

Jeremy didn’t let go of Evan. “I’m sorry. We Parent Trapped you.” He’d need to watch that film someday.

Evan gulped. He could tell this was Jeremy. “I-I’ve been with a stranger for weeks?”

Jared winced. “Since camp.”

“What?!”

Jeremy shushed him. “Ev, please, don’t hurt yourself.” He sighed. “We stopped this when it got too emotional anyway. Jared didn’t tell me you broke your arm.” He shot a look at his brother. 

Jared looked away. 

Michael stuttered. “Wh-Who-?”

Jeremy finally pulled away from Evan and faced Michael with a guilty expression. “I-I’m Jeremy. Sorry it had to happen like this.”

Michael almost seemed to be in shock. “Jeremy?”

Jeremy bit his lip. “I-I met Jared at camp? We’re brothers apparently, and we thought it’d be cool to swap places, but– It really wasn’t nice.”

Jared stared at the ground. “I’m sorry, Evan. But I did mean everything I said to you.”

Evan was shaking. “I-I told you things, I– I told you _things_.”

Jared bit his lip. “I’m so sorry.”

“I-I said I didn’t want a stranger to know!” Evan said. “Why didn’t you stop me?!”

“I-I- I wanted- I didn’t want to hurt you! I just wanted to help.”

Evan tried not to cry. 

Jeremy grabbed his hand. “Ev, I’m sorry. We can talk about that in a minute, but we need to apologize right now.”

Michael stared at them. “Oh god.”

Jeremy turned around. “Michael, I’m sorry.”

“Jesus christ,” Michael murmured, standing up.

“We didn’t mean to hurt you!” Jeremy looked to Jared for help.

Jared just groaned loudly. “Okay, look.” He moved over to the bed, pushing his nightstand in front of it. “No one is going anywhere until we sort this fucking mess out, okay?”

Michael grumbled, sitting back down. “That’s definitely my Jared.” 

Evan raised his hand. 

Jeremy sighed. “Yes, Ev?”

“I’m angry.”

“Okay, Evan.”

Jared took a breath. “Okay, I think me and Evan need to talk. So do you and Mike, obviously.” 

Michael grimaced. “Maybe I don’t wanna.”

Jared scoffed. “Too bad, don’t be a little bitch.”

Michael’s lips quirked up slightly in response. “Damn, how did I not realize it wasn’t you?”

Jeremy stepped closer to Michael. “D-Do you wanna talk or not? Because I do.”

Michael sighed. “Alright, fine.”

“L-Like, alone, or..?”

Michael shrugged. “I don’t care.”

Jeremy bit his lip. “We can talk in the closet..?”

Michael hummed, getting up and striding into the closet.

Jeremy followed him awkwardly. 

Jared looked up at Evan timidly. “Hi.”

Evan stayed over by himself. “You’re not Jeremy.”

“No, I’m not.” Jared muttered. “Evan, I-” He sighed. “Can we start over?”

“I-I don’t think we can, I told you some really personal things.”

Jared nodded. “That’s fair.” He bit his lip. “I really am sorry, if that means anything. I hated myself the whole time. But I really do care about you, Evan.”

Evan was taking deep breaths. “So I didn’t almost kiss Jeremy yesterday. It was you.”

Jared’s breath hitched. “Yeah. It was me,” He whispered. 

“I-It’s been you since your camp ended?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah.”

“S-See, I thought Jeremy just– I thought he changed. I-I– My feelings for him– They were for you?”

Jared gulped. “Yeah. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

Evan sighed. “But I– I like you. Apparently.”

Jared blushed. “I like you too.”

“You do?”

Jared nodded. “God, I like you so much.”

“I–I mean– You were just so sweet. Not that Jer’s not, but– It– I should be angrier. But I like you. And you know my deepest secret.”

Jared bit his lip. “I figured you’d hate me,” He admitted. “But I couldn’t keep lying to you.”

“At least– At least it– At least you didn’t let it go further. It’s kind of, um, a relief that I don’t actually like Jeremy. Don’t tell him that! It’s just– It would be weird, I think.”

Jared’s lips quirked. “Yeah. So, um. What does this mean?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe don’t pretend to be my best friend and we’ll see what happens?”

Jared gave him a crooked smile. “That’s fair. Um. Would you maybe want to go out sometime? Or should I wait to ask?”

“I-I should get to know my friend’s brother, right? And you can drive. Wait, how are me and Jeremy gonna get home?” Evan looked scared. 

Jared laughed. “I’ll take you guys home. Michael can give me a ride back.”

“O-Okay. I hope your friend isn’t killing Jeremy in there.”

“I doubt it. He’s a big teddy bear.”

“Jeremy is, um, fragile.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

\---------

Jeremy stared awkwardly at Michael. “Uh...First of all. Sorry.”

Michael eyed him wearily. “Yeah.”

“I, uh, I know this was shitty of us.”

“I don’t even know who the fuck you are.” 

Jeremy winced. “I-I’m sorry, Michael. You didn’t deserve– I’m Jeremy K-Kleinman. Like you care. You shouldn’t.”

Michael seemed to waver slightly. “I mean, obviously I do.”

“Why?”

Michael scoffed. “Is it not obvious that I’m super into you? Or at least, I thought I was. Am.” He sighed. “Unless you’ve just been pretending this whole time.”

Jeremy shook his head. “No! I– I haven’t been– I thought you were into Jared.”

“I’ve been terrified that I was into Jared, actually.”

“What? Why? You’re best friends.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to have the urge to kiss my best friend.”

“Wait, so– You actually are into me?” Jeremy squeaked. 

Michael gave him a blank look. “I literally told you that your mouth would be pretty sucking a cock and then let you suck my thumb.”

Jeremy gulped. “So do you still think that, or..?”

“Dude, hell yes I do.” Michael shrugged. “You managed to get me fucked in just three weeks.”

“Damn,” Jeremy mumbled. “Wish someone would fuck me in three weeks.” It didn’t make sense, but he wanted Michael to challenge it. 

Michael laughed. “Maybe someone will,” He hummed. “That is, if you’re interested.”

“Interested in getting dicked down? Uh, always.”

Michael smirked. “Interesting. Maybe someone is interested in dicking you down. Emotionally. And physically. With a physical penis.”

“And an emotional penis?”

“Yes. A penis from the heart.”

“Would that someone be you?” Jeremy asked, voice high and cracking. 

Michael snorted. “Yes.”

“E-Even after we lied to you for three weeks?”

Michael hummed. “Well, are you still lying about anything?”

“Well, I don’t think so.”

“Then sure. I mean, from the past three weeks, we seem to get along pretty well, I’d say.”

“So like you want me to suck your dick?”

Michael blushed. “Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Also yes.”

“What, like right now?”

Michael squeaked. “You’d do it right now?”

“I’d do it anytime!”

Michael bit his lip. “I mean, I wouldn’t _not_ like it.“

“...How long do you think Jared and Evan will be talking?”

Michael smiled. “Jared can take a while with his feelings.”

Jeremy was on his knees. “Yeah?”

Michael’s breath hitched as he watched him, reaching down to thread his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. “Yeah.”

Jeremy smiled up at him and worked on getting Michael’s pants undone. 

——

Jared grumbled a bit. “I can’t believe you sucked my best friend off in my damn closet.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Like you and Evan didn’t get freaky. He’s super kinky you know.”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Totally.”

“Interesting..” Jared paused. “Wait, no, this isn’t- Don’t suck anyone off in my closet!”

“See now I know the rules! You should have told me he was hung though.”

“Oh god, gross, why would you say that to me?”

“Because I’m a little shocked that it actually happened.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “I’m not, Mr. Thumb Sucker.”

“Look, us twinks gotta stick together, not be rude.”

Jared scoffed. “I’m not even a twink.”

“We’re twins, I know you’re a bottom.”

“I am so _not_ a bottom!”

“Evan’s the bottomest bottom and you probably still couldn’t be in charge of him.”

“You’re so unbelievably wrong.”

“Oh, am I?”

“Yes. Bring in Evan and I’ll prove it.”

Jeremy hummed. “You’re going to corrupt my sweet best friend, aren’t you?”

“You already swallowed my best friend’s nut, fuck off.”

Jeremy sighed. He opened the bedroom door and pulled Evan in, closing it again. 

Evan blinked. “Am I out of time out now?” 

Jared gave Jeremy a pointed look before turning back to Evan. He gave him a small smile, voice low when he spoke. “Evan, come here.”

Evan walked over. “Am I in trouble again? Michael’s out there pouting.”

Jeremy shook his head. “Not trouble.”

Jared hummed, bringing his fingers up to Evan’s chin, tilting his head so he would meet his gaze. “What a sweet boy,” he cooed, his other hand on Evan’s hip.

Evan was red, eyes fixated on Jared’s. “Wh-Who, me?”

“Mhm,” Jared hummed. “Such a good boy.”

Evan squeaked. “O-Oh, wow, I– Really?”

Jared smiled, his fingers ghosting up Evan’s jaw. “Such a pretty boy deserves a good fuck, right?”

Evan melted. “Y-Yes, sir—”

“Okay, Jared, that’s enough,” Jeremy said, waving his arms. 

Evan blinked. “Huh?”

Jared grinned, kissing Evan’s forehead. “Thanks.”

“What just happened?” 

Jeremy sighed. “Don’t worry about it, buddy. Can you tell Michael to come in here?” He didn’t want Evan to think they’d used him. 

Evan frowned. “Why, so Jared can tell him he’s a good boy too? I’m the only good boy, Jeremy, back off.”

Jeremy stared at him. “Jared, what’d you do to him?”

Jared snorted. “Evan, sweetie, you’re the only good boy. We all know that.”

Evan smiled. 

“Wh– I’m a good boy too, bitch ass,” Jeremy said awkwardly. 

Jared stuck his tongue out at him.

Evan coughed. “Uh, did you actually need me or are you still having brother time?”

“I dunno. Jere?”

Jeremy pouted. “I guess we’re done.”

Jared snorted. “You say that like you aren’t excited to go jump on Mike’s dick.”

“Look, I’m not gonna do it _again_!”

Jared quirked an eyebrow, throwing an arm over Evan’s shoulder.

Jeremy groaned and opened the bedroom door again. “You can come in now,” he muttered.

Michael shuffled in. “Hi.”

“So,” Jeremy said. “I think we all had pretty quality bonding–”

“You sucked Michael off, Jeremy.”

“Thank you, Evan, I forgot about that.”

Michael giggled. “I didn’t.”

Jared tossed a pen at him. “Shut up, gay ass.”

Jeremy coughed. “Well, uh, anyway.”

Jared huffed. “I don’t wanna take you guys home yet.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, I really don’t want to go home yet either.”

Evan butted in. “Have you talked to Mr. Heere yet?”

“Well. No.” 

Jared groaned. “That’s an issue for another day.”. 

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

Michael hummed. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“He’s pretty stupid.”

Jared hummed. “He tries.”

Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t really want to leave, but I don’t see what else we could do here at Jared’s house.”

Michael hummed, stepping closer. “Cuddle and spend time with your shiny new significant other now that you’re lie free?”

Evan nodded. “I like cuddles with people who don’t lie.”

Jared smiled, pulling Evan into his side. “I’m down for that.” 

Evan grinned. 

Jeremy stood awkwardly by Michael. “Guess we’re staying a bit longer then.”

Michael bumped his shoulder against Jeremy’s. “You’re being awfully shy, considering what happened earlier.” He held his arms open in invitation.

Jeremy shuffled over. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He pushed himself into Michael’s arms. 

Michael just chuckled, hugging him. “Gay.”

“‘S actually bi.”

Michael snorted. “I figured. You’re shit at hiding it.”

“What?!”

“Dude, last week we were at the mall and you watched like three girls’ asses as they passed. And three guys.”

“You thought I was Jared though!”

“Yeah, which is why I thought Jared was going through a new stage where he was considering girls again. It was a very confusing time.”

Jeremy huffed. “I don’t like this callout.”

Michael just snorted. 

Evan made a noise. “Y’know, I knew Jeremy was perpetually horny, but I never expected him to give someone a blowjob after three weeks of knowing him and also lying the entire time.”

Jeremy groaned. “What is this, hating Jeremy hour?”

“I don’t hate Jeremy,” Michael smiled.

“I do,” said Jeremy. 

Michael pinched his hip. “Bad.”

“Ow!” Jeremy cried. 

Jared snorted. “Can we go sit down or something?”

Evan looked at him. “It’s your house.”

Jared rolled his eyes, pulling Evan towards the bed to sit down, Michael and Jeremy not far behind.


End file.
